During the first week of school, most of my classmates would ask me what colleges/universities I was going to apply for. I usually just smiled and say I wasn't sure yet, or I'd show them the UPCAT form I was writing on. But you know, I only took three exams: UPCAT, USTET, and SLUCEE.  Some wondered, "Why didn't you apply for Ateneo?" or "You should have tried all college entrance exams possible." So why didn't I? Why didn't I take the exam for my old dream school? Simple. I was afraid of what could have been. Most of my classmates applied in review centers and I was just there laughing out loud and not doing anything at all. I bought a reviewer but I never really opened it until the week before the entrance exam. I felt insecure and I didn't want to get a letter saying that I failed. I regret not taking the chance and thinking I wasn't going to make it.

I was really torn when I found out that I passed all the three exams that I took. I mean, I wasn't really planning on going to SLU. It was an option, and I didn't really plan on staying here in my hometown. I wanted more, I wanted adventure. So I was having a hard time choosing between UP and UST. During the first few weeks of February, I was determined to enroll in UST because it was already guaranteed that I will have a slot there (as soon as I got the result, I was notified that I need to reserve for a slot so we went to Manila and paid the reservation fee. There goes 5k.) I was still unsure if I could make it in UP, and thinking about the TDT made me even more doubtful. During the TDT, I was on the left side of the room, drawing and silently laughing at my drawing because I made the figure younger that what he was supposed to look like. I started looking at the drawings of the people beside me and well, you have no idea how wonderful and creative they all are. One of them can draw hands without any references, and most of them were using watercolors! So.. yeah. I was pretty sure I was going to fail it.

Our batch had a really tiring day yesterday, and I as soon as I got home, all I've ever wanted was something that would make me smile. I logged in on tumblr and remembered that I still don't know my result in the TDT. I checked UP-CFA's website and there it was, the list of applicants who passed to test. I clicked on it, not really knowing the outcome, and to my surprise my name was on the list! I really shouted for joy and started dancing around like a little girl. Haha I finally know where what school I'm going to go to.



Despite all the challenges that I've been through, my family was always there to support me. Also with my friends. And I'm really, really grateful for them. Going through this alone would have been really hard. My mom, who used to be really against the idea of studying in Manila, is now my best supporter. She was there to cheer me on when I thought that I was not going to make it. (: And you, thank you for taking your time reading this.

Labels: high school

I write like
Stephen King

I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!

It's actually pretty cool to know that the way I write is similar to that of a famous writer's. Here I am, cleaning my room and skipping school. Haha Just saying. Because I don't think I can face the people I've learned to hate over the past few months. I need to move on, but I can't stop thinking about what happened during our prom and it's making me feel worse every passing hour. I'm starting to wish that I can turn back time and make things right. I want to tell him I'm sorry, not make snarky comments while dancing. I want to say that he's a cool guy, and not ask him to take me back to my table. I want to hear him laugh again the way he used to when we were seated together in class. I miss everything that used to be.

Labels: fun facts, love

I’m not entirely sure of what I should feel right now. My last prom wasn’t entirely as fun as how I expected it to be, but I was really determined to make it memorable. My friends and I decided to have this list of dares, and the first dare (and last) I got was to ask my crush to dance. I was very confident that my crush wouldn’t ask me to dance, and being the shy and weird girl that I am, I don’t think that he’d agree to dance with me. However, my friends started running up to him even if I told them not to. It’s not because I’ve come to accept that we’re not really that good as a pair, but I want my prom stress-free and I want everything to go the way it’s supposed to be. If he’s meant to dance with me, then he will dance with me and it wouldn’t be because my friends interfered. I didn’t want to feel like I’m some kind of charity work. I don’t want to feel like I’m just being taken for granted. Given that very long explanation as to why I didn’t want to feel like I was taken for granted, I wasn’t invited by any guy to dance during our prom. Except for my “Crush”, of course. But I don’t want to count him. Heck, even consider him as my first and last dance during my last prom. He wasn’t even really determined in dancing with me, or maybe that’s just me being grumpy and saying “I’m sleepy, I don’t want to dance can we go back now?” after just 15 seconds on the dance floor. My friends realized their mistake after a series of crazy dancing and going around the hall. Wait. I think my other friend made them realize it but then I thought, I shouldn’t mope around, it’s already over. It’s done.

The only decent photo I took during prom, and it's of my friend together with the unattractive and rushed centerpiece.

 As soon as the clock struck 11:00 pm, I went to the lobby and saw K and C drinking coffee in the coffee shop so I decided to join them. I found out that they’re both diagnosed with ADHD and C has schizophrenia. I also learned that one of their friends, a classmate of mine, is diagnosed with epilepsy and her siblings have autism. It was kind of sad to know that such wonderful people have diseases that can really hurt them physically, emotionally, and socially. It was during this time that I realized that my problems weren’t really as bad as theirs and I should be thankful I was born without any abnormalities.

To sum it all up, I’d say that my last prom sucks. But I’m not going to let it ruin my remaining weeks here in high school. Despite the suck-ish experience that I had, I learned a lot of things tonight. At least I’ve got one high school senior event down.

Labels: high school

Last night, an anon texted me saying that he/she misses me. I didn’t have load so I asked everyone I was close to online if they knew who owns that number. Unfortunately no one I didn’t. And I had no choice but to ask you. You, who I’ve known for texting a lot of girls. I remember how I’d muster up the courage to send you a message online or a text. I remember how I used to feel giddy when you reply even with just the simplest “yeah haha” or “ok haha.” I remember how I always ran up to my computer and add an entry to my "malandi" diary. I remember how I used to crush on you like a silly litter girl. I still am that little girl, however, I don’t feel that spark anymore. I don’t feel any butterflies when you reply or when you’re the first one who sends me a message via facebook. I’m happy that you bothered asking me about our homework, but that’s about it. I think I’ve come to accept the fact that you don’t like me, and the possibility of being together is nothing but a tiny little speck of hope. The 0.01% bacteria that alcohol can’t get rid of, the space made when I form a heart using my hands, the feeling I get when I’m done reading a book. You get the point. I’m just as confused as all the girls out there, but I’m trying to get over you even if there was no “us” in the first place.

Labels: love

After almost a week of just playing around (ignoring thesis) and probably being the laziest kid ever, I've finally mustered the energy to clean my room. It's quite surprising how I always need at least 2 large garbage bags to throw a lot of papers and craft materials. =____= Anyway, here's are pictures of my room! (:


I haven't really fixed my clothes since I'll be packing for a trip to Tagaytay. I'm quite excited, actually. It'll be my first time to go there, and it's known to have a similar climate with that of Baguio's.

A picture of my ever growing expansion of books! (:

The one thing that I am most proud of after cleaning my room. :D I seriously organized all my stuff, decorated, and made an inspiration wall.

So that's pretty much it. I hope you enjoyed my ever so vain pictures of my room. haha Until then! (:

Labels: new year, room, start over

During the first week of school, most of my classmates would ask me what colleges/universities I was going to apply for. I usually just smiled and say I wasn't sure yet, or I'd show them the UPCAT form I was writing on. But you know, I only took three exams: UPCAT, USTET, and SLUCEE.  Some wondered, "Why didn't you apply for Ateneo?" or "You should have tried all college entrance exams possible." So why didn't I? Why didn't I take the exam for my old dream school? Simple. I was afraid of what could have been. Most of my classmates applied in review centers and I was just there laughing out loud and not doing anything at all. I bought a reviewer but I never really opened it until the week before the entrance exam. I felt insecure and I didn't want to get a letter saying that I failed. I regret not taking the chance and thinking I wasn't going to make it.

I was really torn when I found out that I passed all the three exams that I took. I mean, I wasn't really planning on going to SLU. It was an option, and I didn't really plan on staying here in my hometown. I wanted more, I wanted adventure. So I was having a hard time choosing between UP and UST. During the first few weeks of February, I was determined to enroll in UST because it was already guaranteed that I will have a slot there (as soon as I got the result, I was notified that I need to reserve for a slot so we went to Manila and paid the reservation fee. There goes 5k.) I was still unsure if I could make it in UP, and thinking about the TDT made me even more doubtful. During the TDT, I was on the left side of the room, drawing and silently laughing at my drawing because I made the figure younger that what he was supposed to look like. I started looking at the drawings of the people beside me and well, you have no idea how wonderful and creative they all are. One of them can draw hands without any references, and most of them were using watercolors! So.. yeah. I was pretty sure I was going to fail it.

Our batch had a really tiring day yesterday, and I as soon as I got home, all I've ever wanted was something that would make me smile. I logged in on tumblr and remembered that I still don't know my result in the TDT. I checked UP-CFA's website and there it was, the list of applicants who passed to test. I clicked on it, not really knowing the outcome, and to my surprise my name was on the list! I really shouted for joy and started dancing around like a little girl. Haha I finally know where what school I'm going to go to.



Despite all the challenges that I've been through, my family was always there to support me. Also with my friends. And I'm really, really grateful for them. Going through this alone would have been really hard. My mom, who used to be really against the idea of studying in Manila, is now my best supporter. She was there to cheer me on when I thought that I was not going to make it. (: And you, thank you for taking your time reading this.

Labels: high school

I write like
Stephen King

I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!

It's actually pretty cool to know that the way I write is similar to that of a famous writer's. Here I am, cleaning my room and skipping school. Haha Just saying. Because I don't think I can face the people I've learned to hate over the past few months. I need to move on, but I can't stop thinking about what happened during our prom and it's making me feel worse every passing hour. I'm starting to wish that I can turn back time and make things right. I want to tell him I'm sorry, not make snarky comments while dancing. I want to say that he's a cool guy, and not ask him to take me back to my table. I want to hear him laugh again the way he used to when we were seated together in class. I miss everything that used to be.

Labels: fun facts, love

I’m not entirely sure of what I should feel right now. My last prom wasn’t entirely as fun as how I expected it to be, but I was really determined to make it memorable. My friends and I decided to have this list of dares, and the first dare (and last) I got was to ask my crush to dance. I was very confident that my crush wouldn’t ask me to dance, and being the shy and weird girl that I am, I don’t think that he’d agree to dance with me. However, my friends started running up to him even if I told them not to. It’s not because I’ve come to accept that we’re not really that good as a pair, but I want my prom stress-free and I want everything to go the way it’s supposed to be. If he’s meant to dance with me, then he will dance with me and it wouldn’t be because my friends interfered. I didn’t want to feel like I’m some kind of charity work. I don’t want to feel like I’m just being taken for granted. Given that very long explanation as to why I didn’t want to feel like I was taken for granted, I wasn’t invited by any guy to dance during our prom. Except for my “Crush”, of course. But I don’t want to count him. Heck, even consider him as my first and last dance during my last prom. He wasn’t even really determined in dancing with me, or maybe that’s just me being grumpy and saying “I’m sleepy, I don’t want to dance can we go back now?” after just 15 seconds on the dance floor. My friends realized their mistake after a series of crazy dancing and going around the hall. Wait. I think my other friend made them realize it but then I thought, I shouldn’t mope around, it’s already over. It’s done.

The only decent photo I took during prom, and it's of my friend together with the unattractive and rushed centerpiece.

 As soon as the clock struck 11:00 pm, I went to the lobby and saw K and C drinking coffee in the coffee shop so I decided to join them. I found out that they’re both diagnosed with ADHD and C has schizophrenia. I also learned that one of their friends, a classmate of mine, is diagnosed with epilepsy and her siblings have autism. It was kind of sad to know that such wonderful people have diseases that can really hurt them physically, emotionally, and socially. It was during this time that I realized that my problems weren’t really as bad as theirs and I should be thankful I was born without any abnormalities.

To sum it all up, I’d say that my last prom sucks. But I’m not going to let it ruin my remaining weeks here in high school. Despite the suck-ish experience that I had, I learned a lot of things tonight. At least I’ve got one high school senior event down.

Labels: high school

Last night, an anon texted me saying that he/she misses me. I didn’t have load so I asked everyone I was close to online if they knew who owns that number. Unfortunately no one I didn’t. And I had no choice but to ask you. You, who I’ve known for texting a lot of girls. I remember how I’d muster up the courage to send you a message online or a text. I remember how I used to feel giddy when you reply even with just the simplest “yeah haha” or “ok haha.” I remember how I always ran up to my computer and add an entry to my "malandi" diary. I remember how I used to crush on you like a silly litter girl. I still am that little girl, however, I don’t feel that spark anymore. I don’t feel any butterflies when you reply or when you’re the first one who sends me a message via facebook. I’m happy that you bothered asking me about our homework, but that’s about it. I think I’ve come to accept the fact that you don’t like me, and the possibility of being together is nothing but a tiny little speck of hope. The 0.01% bacteria that alcohol can’t get rid of, the space made when I form a heart using my hands, the feeling I get when I’m done reading a book. You get the point. I’m just as confused as all the girls out there, but I’m trying to get over you even if there was no “us” in the first place.

Labels: love

After almost a week of just playing around (ignoring thesis) and probably being the laziest kid ever, I've finally mustered the energy to clean my room. It's quite surprising how I always need at least 2 large garbage bags to throw a lot of papers and craft materials. =____= Anyway, here's are pictures of my room! (:


I haven't really fixed my clothes since I'll be packing for a trip to Tagaytay. I'm quite excited, actually. It'll be my first time to go there, and it's known to have a similar climate with that of Baguio's.

A picture of my ever growing expansion of books! (:

The one thing that I am most proud of after cleaning my room. :D I seriously organized all my stuff, decorated, and made an inspiration wall.

So that's pretty much it. I hope you enjoyed my ever so vain pictures of my room. haha Until then! (:

Labels: new year, room, start over

Hi, I'm Chelsi, sixteen-years old. Trying to make the world a better place one smile at a time. I believe in taking chances, falling in love, and making a big statement. I am fond of lazy days, art, ice cream, day dreams, and collecting pencils.

I spend my time singing songs, watching Korean dramas, playing video games, drawing, and writing about whatever tickles my fancy.

I dream of becoming an art teacher. Someday I will teach kids how to express themselves through art. I will sit down and watch their imagination take them to places. I want to inspire children to not lose hope, and tell them that there will always be a way through every obstacle that they will encounter. I want them to paint the world wonderful. Someday.

Want to know more? Send me a message at chelsiamour95[at]gmail.com or chelsi_amour[at]yahoo.com

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Recent posts: College? / I Write Like... / Prom / Banquet / Epiphany / Room clean-up! / Dancing / Resolutions / 122011. / Being in love is a very strange thing. / UPDATTEEEE! /

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